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wingyau
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Name: zan
Country: Canada
State: British Columbia
Metro: Burnaby
Birthday: 10/17/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: being wise, guarding my mouth. Proverbs 10:19
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he
Expertise: being a fool, speaking a multitude of words.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Kee
Occupation: Registered Massage Therapist
Industry: medical
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
10/15/2003
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| Expecting MiraclesIt's ok to have doubts, even John the Baptist did! 
Matthew 11:2-6
2 And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of[a] his disciples 3 and said to Him, “Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”
4 Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: 5 The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. 6 And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
and this is what Jesus has to say about him 
“Assuredly, I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he."
Believe it or not,
The Kingdom
Is Here
“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father." John 14:12
His Word Is True. The Blind See, the Lame Walk, the Lepers are Cleansed, and the Deaf Hear;
The Dead are Raised Up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.
does He offend you?
i'm going to a conference in Toronto next week where i'll get to meet people who've prayed and seen Jesus do these things Countless times!!! PTL for Heidi and Rolland Baker!!! Jesus give me the Faith to follow You with such Reckless Abandon - Believing, Because You Died, there will Always be Enough.
"The Lord has been reminding me that our job is to love. I want to keep it simple. I could tell you about the thousands of churches and the mighty revival that is taking place. I could tell you about the thousands of people we are feeding every day. I could tell you about all the signs, wonders and miracles. But I prefer to tell you about one life, a little boy named Selsun. This Friday [Mar 24, 2006] I found him wandering the streets of Maputo, sad, despondent and rejected. I walked in the back streets with him, making friends. I went to where he was living, under a veranda. I found out his parents died in a train crash and his aunt beat him. She did not want him. I was reminded that it is all about loving the one in front of us. We decided to take him to our Zimpeto center. He now loves Jesus. He has a home. He is no longer afraid or alone. Now he can see his dreams fufilled and go to school! We need to keep it simple and love the one in front of us. Thank you for caring. You are loved.
Much love in Jesus,
Heidi"
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| happy unwedding day!!!(i'm freaking insane AHaha  you won't believe how much thought i put into this
first, the date.. it would have been 08.04.07 which reminded me of one of my favourite verses
I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live 20 that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days...
like i said before with the numbers
8 = blessing
4 = death / curses
7 = Gods number, rest, the sabbath.
a reminder that these choices are set before us everyday.
faithfulness. respect. love. my prayer is that we always make choices that give life.
The Wedding favor for the ceremony was going to be a CD. with this booklet.
 i love this pic, because of the way the road divides
we're on the narrow way that leads to life. The chinese words tell bible stories.
and the colours and songs on the cd go together too, to tell a story, His Story of love for those who are looking.
 gold is for heaven, the way it was meant to be
before the fall. i sang this song in my highschooL musical, and imagined walking down the aisle singing it with them again! - i forgot i had a dad  that happens sometimes cause he's been in hk since i was in gr 5.
my friends wisely noted that he'd probably want to walk me.. so i asked steph, karen and evelyn to be my wedding singers 
 check out the correlation of the bible story
and the chinese words man!!! O_O_O_O_O we went with blue instead of black because it's prettier 
and it works too! ^^ judgement came in the form of a flood with noah (and it's really neat that the word for large ship in chinese is made up of characters that can represent boat, 8 and people ->there were 8 people on noahs ark, noah and his wife, and their 3 sons and their wives)
and the sea can be a symbol of separation.. in the new jerusalem there will be no sea
when john wrote the book of revelation on the island of patmos he was exiled, and the sea kept him apart from those he loved. travel was much more difficult then, so if someone went away across the sea you wouldn't see them again for a long time, if ever.
also the greek word baptizo which we get the word baptism from could be used to describe the sinking of a ship. or the process of immersing a cloth to dye it another colour, or putting a hot iron in cold water to temper it, or soaking vegetables to pickle them.. as we identify with the death of Christ, we are transformed, and Rise with Him, which brings us to the next color
 red
for Jesus blood.
me + the lamb of God who died for my sins = righteousness
 my bridesmaids have brown dresses with colored accents to go with these colors, and the aisle walking songs (goin to the chapel, Jealous Kind, wonderful King) went with the message of the colors too.. only we wouldn't go in the exact order, because i was going to be the one in white.
 green is for growth ^^
our sisters were going to come down the aisle with that accent just before me, and light the unity candles, since my mom isn't around to do that, and my sister was like a mom to me.
 and brown is because we are as dust
but we will be transformed
 i love this picture
it reminds me of C.S. Lewis's essay Transposition
There you have it! my unwedding day in a nutshell ^^
last year today i was in seattle with stacey, in the middle of a 2 week vacation my family and friends helped me arrange, which included beijing with my dad, and the first annual "let's go on vacation with my best friends event" (the name change from "i'm not getting married so let's go on vacation with my best friends event" was fervently voted in by involved parties recently ;)
right now i am getting ready to go to work, and am looking forward to our 2nd annual best friends vacation event which will take place at the end of august last year we went to part of the basic life seminar together before taking off and this year it looks like we'll be at the Bob Eckblad conference new joy is putting on with living hope before we go.
 i love my peeps :)
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| kiss goodbye
recently i let go of a dream.
because of what happened with my visions and the community group
i think i'm supposed to be here
so i gave my testimony and officially became a member of new joy
which means i am no longer an official member of vcac
which means i will not be able to get married there. it's sad because vcac was my home church for so many years, i became a Christian at their teens camp, a spiritual baby, who grew, started to mature and got to fight alongside so many Amazing Warriors. Knights of the Freaking Round Table. my friends, my family of origin.
Also, i thought Frazerlands could hold everyone i knew who might be interested in coming!
i've felt excluded so i do my best to help people feel included. That, and my stand on friendships lasting forever has meant i've made quite a few friends along the way, and if you wanted to come to the wedding ceremony, i wanted you to be able to.
i can see how he could have felt like a stranger and a spectacle at his own wedding though
if ALL the people in my life showed up..
so i'm kissing that dream goodbye.
i'll share my dream wedding: The MusicaL Extravaganelism! with you in my next post :)
it's nice that i can possibly share my unwedding day with so many more people online, for so much less money ^^ ;p
the ring i wanted so much
 is now in hong kong with my dad
safe, as material things can somewhat be kept.
This verse has been coming up a bit in my reading, and my pastor and a few other people have spoken to me about my Extreme openness.. so i'm going to tone it down a bit.. no more private relationship stuff, like rob bell says, too many people under the chuppah.
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| Accessi love this word
and i love what it IS, to be able to get all kinds of info about Anything with a few clicks,
to be able to reach a muscle that needs work,
to be able to reach you, no matter how far away you are,
to be able to come into Gods presence, despite my sinfulness.
Something that really hit me when Janine died, was that i couldn't access her anymore.
I wanted so much to be able to send her an email, and get one back.
To be able to show up her house and see her.
Hug her, Pray with her
See her face smiling through a webcam.
Anything!
It wasn't going to happen. I was Cut Off.
i HATE that. i think friends should be friends forever. even if we don't get to talk or see each other anymore, because of time, and how our lives have moved in different directions, if i've known you, i'll always have the memories we shared, remember the good times, and think fondly of you.
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
it may not be easy to let go and forget past hurts, but if God can forgive me for spitting in His face, and crucifying Him, and you can forgive me for the countless other stupid things i do, forgiving others is not too much to ask.
my sisters partner thinks that relationships have an expiry date. O_o
what do you think?
how much access should people have to you?
this is something that's really been on my mind, since i've been told i'm WAY TOO OPEN.
but what is the harm in sharing what is going on in my heart and mind with others.. if it's not hate speech..
i want to be known, and testify of Gods goodness, sharing that with Everyone i know who cares to read
- and honestly i don't think that many people do :p
what zion said once in a comment rings true "A city on a hill cannot be hidden, but a city still has walls"
but how does that play out in life? | | |
| my RewardBut without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
The
Adventure
Continues!!! :D :D :D
sooo, the last closure talk i had with my ex-fiance Wasn't actually the First one ;p
it takes me A While to get closure okaaay AHaha ;p
it was over for my ex-fiance by sept 1st last year, we had been on a 3 month break cause he had an amazing opportunity to go to china shortly after the wedding was called off, and to me it seemed like God had arranged a break, cause i was going to be missing church for the two weeks before he left anyways due to a class and a half marathon.
i told him to call me when he got back, or if he met someone and / or just decided not to come back.
i wanted to know if it was over.
the contingency i didn't anticipate was his feelings just disappearing.
although that was the conclusion i had come to with my counsel.
my dad, my sisters boyfriend, another father figure
all said the same thing. they knew how they would feel if they had to be away from the woman they loved
for that long, with the circumstances as they were, and my ex-fiance just wasn't feeling it.
when he called on sept 1st, i conveyed this to him, i said my counsel agreed that he didn't love me, and that was ok, it didn't make him a bad person if he didn't have those feelings,
we could still be friends...
he didn't disagree. There was no protest or proclamation of love. we chatted for a couple hours about what we did during our break and agreed to be friends. it was over.
but i managed to convince myself that things were still going according to my plan - cause i didn't want to date :P so i thought we could just be friends til he decided to propose again. but he purposefully didn't talk to me at church to help me move on. and finally i needed to ask him straight up if there was ever going to be a chance for us in future.
That closure conversation happened Nov 11th, the sunday before the New Joy Membership Retreat.
AND THAT'S WHEN GOD SHOWED UP, AGAIN
to Confirm to me that i'm still a part of HIS ADVENTURE.
that even though My Plans weren't going the way I Wanted,
His Were.
That Wednesday, Right after the closure talk i got a message from a teacher from my old massage schooL
she asked me if i wanted to TA there
Which is Exactly what i'd seen in a Vision Two Years Before.
i started teaching there this january, and at first we were in 2 different rooms, but because our class was two big and we didn't have enough tables we ended up switching classrooms.
So I Am Now TAing In The Exact Practical Room I Saw myself in in that vision.
Then, at the membership retreat i was reminded of a vision i had at the membership retreat the year before.
i was being prayed for, and out of no where i had a flash of the face of one of the guys at our church! it was SO RANDOM, i had to check it out with him to see if maybe he'd gotten a word or a picture for me at that time and was just too shy to share it. he told me he'd get back to me... so actually he hadn't, but he prayed about it and asked God for a picture for me anyways which was really nice of him :D i was embarrassed, but then forgot about it.
Til membership retreat this year when i was REALLY STRUGGLING with which community group i should be going to. it just didn't make sense to stay in the same group as my ex-fiance if there was no hope for us, but if i changed groups, which group would i go to? it would be so hard to leave a group i was finally starting to feel like a part of to start all over again with a new group.
that's when i remembered the vision i'd had at the retreat the year before, and realized the guy whose face i'd seen was a community group leader, and there would be someone i knew in his group because his new wife just left my current group to go to his after they got married.
a really amazing woman drove me home from that retreat. i felt like i could really connect to her, and it just happened that she came to see me for a massage on tuesday after the retreat. It was then she started telling me about all the people in her community group, and i realized they were all the people who i had been getting to know outside of my community group -> the people who had come to see me for massage, people who i knew from youth work, a girl who one of my best friends had met at another church - who my best friend was telling me was SO COOL, that i should get to know better, and whose community group i should go to.
ALL PEOPLE from the community group led by the guy i saw randomly in my vision.
The group one of my first community group leaders was thinking for me
when she prayed about it independently from my imput.
The community group i am in now.
So i am Exactly where He wants me. HE KNEW a year before that i wouldn't be getting married, and that i would need to change community groups, and he gave me a heads up on Exactly which one to go to.
my God is SO GOOD.
i am a highly favoured one, blessed among women! because the Lord is with me.
if you think about how the angel told mary she was blessed, it's kind of funny, because basically the news meant that most people around her would think that she had an affair with another man before she married joseph.. it wasn't an easy life she was blessed with when God chose her to be Jesus mother, but He Really Was With her in it.
He Didn't Forsake her. He Will Never Forsake me.
And He is The Greatest Blessing of all :D :D :D | | |
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